Summer Stoicism Unwind (Part 3)

 

If you’ve listened to CX Riot Radio for any amount of time, you know I say the phrase “it is what it is” a lot.

And I always worry that people will take it as a defeatist slogan, one rooted in apathy and a shrug of the shoulders.

It’s not.

Let me explain what I mean by that phrase, and what more perfect of a time than in the annual Summer Stoicism Unwind episode (that I’ve never done on THIS podcast, it was done on HeroTalk. Rest in Peace.)

(Part 1: HERE

Part 2: HERE)

“It is what it is” is not a white flag.

It’s not some lazy, passive, throw-your-hands-in-the-air phrase.

It’s not a cop-out.

It’s not saying “I quit.”

In real leadership, it’s a call to action.

Stoicism isn’t about bottling up your emotions or pretending things don’t bother you.

It’s about owning your response to what’s happening around you.

Life throws chaos.

Projects fall apart.

Customers explode.

Tech fails.

People ghost meetings.

Calls drop.

Budgets get slashed.

The weak panic.

The strong pivot.

And the stoic?

They breathe, assess, adapt, and drive forward.

That’s leadership.

Now, let’s talk about leadership in the CX world.

You’re not just juggling tickets or solving escalations, you’re responsible for energy.

You set the tone.

People take their cue from you. If you’re reactive, loud, or emotional in every setback, guess what? 

Your team will crumble when things get tough. They’ll follow your lead into dysfunction.

But when you practice stoicism, when you stand firm, calm, and clear-headed… you become a lighthouse in the storm.

Everyone around you finds their footing by watching you not flinch.

That’s where “it is what it is” comes in. It's not giving up. 

It's grounding yourself in reality. You can't lead from fantasy.

If a system crashes, it crashed.

If a vendor dropped the ball, they dropped the ball.

If the team missed the KPI, they missed it.

Wishing it was different doesn’t change a thing.

Saying “it is what it is” means: This is the truth. Now what are we going to do about it?

That’s stoic leadership.

That’s CX leadership.

It’s not about pretending everything’s fine—it’s about confronting the situation as it is, not as we wish it was.

That’s what makes the difference between amateurs and professionals.

In project management, same thing.

You’ll make plans.

They’ll blow up.

Timelines shift.

Team members leave.

Stakeholders freak out.

You can whine and bitch…

…or you can move.

The stoic leader doesn’t fall in love with the plan… they fall in love with the mission.

They keep adapting until it gets done.

And let’s get real, stoicism also protects your peace.

This role eats people alive.

Burnout is real.

CX and project managers carry the weight of everyone else’s problems.

Practicing stoicism isn’t just about staying effective, it's about surviving the long game.

It gives you the emotional discipline to stay in the fight without losing yourself.

So next time someone says “it is what it is”, listen closely.

Are they giving up, or are they accepting the field they’ve got so they can go win the game?

You’ll know the difference when you see it.